Black Friday

As just a quick update for those who don't already know. I did finally hear from my doctor, and she did follow up with the patheologist on my case. He did perform the required additional tests, and even verified the results with a second patheologist. They are certain it was a partial molar pregnancy. I have had several blood tests since then, and the hormone continues to decrease, so all is well for the time being. We go on.

So, I gave in and braved Black Friday this year. Actually, I wasn't given much choice. My sister was supposed to have worked that day, and we had planned to go out shopping later in the day. However, with my grandma's passing and funeral scheduled for that afternoon, we figured there was no way we'd get to go shopping at all that day if we didn't get up and go early. And early we went. We were standing outside of Wal-mart, in line, by 4:45 a.m. That's right. Me, who HATES mornings, actually crawled out of bed at 4:00 a.m., on a day off, was ready to go by 4:30 and was standing in the freezing cold and wind at 4:45 WITHOUT ANY COFFEE. Because in that town, the only Starbucks doesn't open until like 5:30 or so. It was HILARIOUS.

So there we stood, in line, waiting, exasperating our colds that we were beginning to suffer from, and trying to remember why exactly we thought this was a good idea. We had our list of items we wanted to get while we were there. And it started to snow. Of course. So I just couldn't help myself. I said to my sister, in my loudest obnoxious voice, that I was terribly disappointed in us for contributing to the commercialization of Christmas! Of course I wasn't really serious, but I did get several chuckles and a few surprised looks from our fellow curb-sitters. Then, while we were STILL waiting, we watched a couple get out of their car and walk up to join several people they knew ahead of us in line. And it made me angry. Not at the fact that the couple was line jumping, because, let's face it, I had no intention of plowing over another shopper in order to get my hands on a $15 (normally $25) Crayola Light Brush (cool as they may be). No, what made me angry was that nestled against the woman in a baby carrier, covered with only a thin blanket and whatever small clothes it was wearing, was a small baby, probably no older than 2 months old. Outside, in November, at 4:45 in the morning, in Wyoming, in the howling wind, freezing temperatures and falling snow. Nice parenting. Really. Upon hearing my gasp, my sister turned to me and gave me that "I don't really want to get in a fist fight this morning, so keep your trite comment about what a terrible mother she is to yourself" look, and I bit my tongue.

It seemed like we'd been standing there forever when they finally opened the doors. My legs were so frozen through my jeans, I had difficulty getting them to move. Which was just as well since from my view point I was able to see the horde of crazed shoppers burst through the front doors shoving each other out of the way and running like heard of stampeding cows. You know those scenes you see on t.v. news reports about the crowds bursting through doors on Black Friday? They're all absolutely true. I didn't believe it either, until I saw it. And this took place in small town Wyoming! Once my sister and I finally made it through the doors, we started down the aisle picking up purchases as we went. In the process I got my heels run over three separate times with shopping carts, and my sister witnessed a fight. That's right, an actual fight. Another thing you hear about happening on this most important shopping day of the year, but never really believed happens. It does. As it turns out it wasn't actually a fist fight. It was two women yelling at each other over one hitting the other in the back with her shopping cart. Then, as we made our way to the electronics section, I took the cart and tried to proceed through the section while my sister went and tried to find the gifts she was hoping to get for her husband and my mom. I finally gave up trying to get through, and "pulled over" into an empty side aisle to wait for her. As I was standing there, the din of the crowd was suddenly overcome by the sound of two shouting voices. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Every person in the immediate area literally froze where they were, and all conversation stopped. No one moved. No one spoke. I don't think anyone breathed. And that is saying a lot, considering the crowd was so dense, people were shoulder to shoulder, cart to back, nearly nose to nose. There, in the middle of the ocean of bodies, were two women screaming at each other. I never did quite figure out what they were fighting over, since they just kept saying something about "how could I shove in front of you when I've been behind you the whole time" and the like. But let me give you a picture of these women. One stood about my height, 5'6". The other, was at least 6', if not larger. She appeared to be the aggressor in the situation. The two were standing only about 6" apart, the shorter woman craning her neck back to look the taller in the face. I was waiting for Tall Girl to pick up Shorty by the scruff of the neck and the back of the pants and toss her into the $5 DVD bin. Now along came Mr. Wal-Mart Manager. Mr. Manager was maybe 5'2", if he was a foot. He actually had the ca hones to wedge himself between the two angry women and politely ask the two to break it up. I swear, I thought I'd fallen into a Warner Bros. cartoon, it was so ridiculous-looking. After three tries, and having to raise his own voice, the women went their separate ways.

My sister and I managed to eliminate a huge number of gifts from our shopping lists, and Christmas is officially on its way. I may even brave Black Friday next year, for no other reason than the sheer entertainment value.