5 reasons why I highly dislike going to the mall EVER:
1. Parking: this really should go without saying. But I think I'll say a little more. Why is it every time I want to go to the mall, the parking availability is practically non-existent, (and no one is leaving), the second I pull my car into the lot? This, of course, forces me to finally park in the boonies, at such a distance from the front entrance that the building looks like a model and the patrons just ants. Not that I don't need the exercise, but that's not the point here. Then, the second I exit my vehicle and make my way toward the building, I suddenly spy 5, 6, 7, 8 parking spots that have just opened up considerably closer to where I actually want to be: the doors! Going back for the car to move it crosses my mind every time. I never do, because somewhere deep down I know Murphy is watching, and the second I do that not only will all 8 spots be taken, but I will lose the one it took an hour to find. So I hoof it.
2. Pushy kiosk sales people: I go to the mall with a purpose. I know exactly what I'm there for and where it is located. I seldom spend any time window shopping or lollygagging. I have places to be and people to see, and you, overbearing kiosk ware peddlers, are not on the list. There is absolutely NO reason why I should be accosted for the latest knock off mineral make up or gimmick skin treatment or crappy hand lotion that doesn't work. If I wanted this junk, I would come to you. Accosting me on my way in to the building and then again on my way out just gives me two more reasons NOT to buy your product. Leave me alone.
3. Meandering patrons: I don't mind if you are a person who does go to window shop and lollygag. By all means, take your time; enjoy. But take your time to the SIDE of mallway. Don't meander along, unable to keep a straight line or consistent pace, constantly wandering into my pathway each time I try to pass you, and then increase your pace so that I CAN'T pass you, just to slow down again. I don't enjoy practically tripping over my own feet just to avoid walking on the back of yours, all because you turned your head to the left and your body followed. Move it or lose it.
4. Bad shoes: Ok, so I know this one is kind of my fault. But for whatever reason, I never remember how long a walk it is from the door I enter to where I need to be, or in between places I need to be, and back again. And in not remembering, I always choose the worst possible pair of shoes for the walk, resulting in a slowed pace and hurting feet. This time, flip flops. Normally that wouldn't be so bad, but I just happened to choose the loosest fitting, and heaviest pair of flip flops I own. By the time I got to my first destination, my feet were cramped up from the effort it took to actually keep the things on my feet at the pace I wanted to keep. I had to stop to rest them at each leg of the journey. So park at a different door, you say. Uh huh. Please refer to #1.
5. Parking space stalkers: You know who you are. Instead of settling for the spaces available that I mentioned in #1, you either idle your car to the side of an ailse, effectively blocking the exit of the vehicles in the spaces to your right and making it extremely difficult for other traffic to pass you on the left, or you creep along at 2 miles per hour behind people you are assuming are actually vacating their parking spots so that you can swoop in and park as soon as their cars have an inch of clearance out of the way. You don't take into consideration whether these people are actually leaving, or maybe just dropping something off in/picking something up from their vehicles. You certainly have no consideration for the growing line of traffic behind you, who didn't know you were parking space stalking, and therefore unwittingly turned down the aisle realizing their mistake too late to correct it. And you, of course, must stalk down the MIDDLE of the aisle, preventing any vehicle from passing you along the way. Seriously, learn how to use a rear view and the gas pedal, before you get restraining orders.
And now you know why I spend very little time at the mall.
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