Sunday, November 23, 2008

I Want Sprinkles

So most or all of you know that I am a huge fan of Cake Wrecks and read it nearly every day. While the majority of the cakes posted are absolutely hilarious (and a few a little sad), I have my favorites. My new, all-time favorite is this graduation cake. For those of you who aren't getting it (as my husband did not at first), I imagine the phone conversation between the customer and the decorator went a little something like this:

Customer: I'd like to order a graduation cake, please. It's for my daughter.

Decorator: Ok, a graduation cake for a girl. Got it. What would you like to have on it?

Oh, I was thinking something pretty simple. I'd like to have the colors in pink and purple. I'd like to have a graduation cap with a tassel, and "2008" on it. Oh! And I want sprinkles on it, too.

Decorator: No problem. I can do that!

Too bad the decorator had such difficulty deciphering those instructions. He just couldn't grasp that "I want sprinkles" means...I want sprinkles. (Ok, so really the back story is that this is a reference to an episode of "The Office", and the customer really wanted the cake to say that, but it's much funnier to imagine the bakery screwed up, so that's how I choose to view it. :-) )

I had something just as interesting happen to me this last week. (Bear with me, I promise the two stories do mesh.) It was really an awful, stressful week for me. While nothing seriously bad actually happened to me,
after nearly a month of being sick I am still coughing up a lung on a daily basis, and after being in Court four days straight, followed by a day of hearings, and clocking over 46 hours of work (this with leaving for 2 hours in the middle of one day for an appointment), I was done in. Not to mention the fact that I witnessed a massacre of epic, if not biblical, proportions of debtors' counsel (every debtors' counsel) in Court on Tuesday, as well as an out-of-control psychotic creditor, and a debtor who was essentially (proverbially) drawn and quartered right in front of me. Talk about a rough week.

So there I was on Thursday, a little over half-way through this monstrosity of a work week, and a very nice surprise arrived for me:

Beautiful, aren't they? And smell great, too, since the lilies are especially fragrant. They instantly made my whole office smell wonderful, except to the paralegal in my office who said that the smell was "shattering" to her, since it was so strong. Along with the wonderful smell, they did wonders for my spirits as well. Except for one thing - I had no idea who they were from.

Yes, of course there was a card. But it did not say who the sender was. The only thing on the card was this: "AC WHAT A GIRL WANTS" Just like that. Typewritten, all caps, italics. For a minute I thought they had delivered the flowers to the wrong person. But no, I checked who it was addressed to, and it was definitely me. So I reread the card. I had no idea what it was supposed to mean. I couldn't figure it out. There was no special occasion, no holiday that I would normally receive flowers for, so they were totally unexpected. It is not like my husband to send flowers for no reason (though he does come home with flowers for no reason every once in a while). It is also not like him to send them anonymously. There's always some indication that it's him, either his name or "Love, Me". Just to be certain, I checked our bank accounts to see if there was a debit to the flower shop. There was none. I even tried calling the flower shop to ask who the sender was. When the woman answered the phone, I told her I had just received a flower delivery and was wondering if she could tell me who placed the order. Haughtily she replied, "I'm sorry, I cannot disclose that information."

Slightly irked, I said, "You can't disclose that information? I'm just trying to find out who sent me these flowers. I don't understand the card."

She said, even more snobbily, "I'm sorry, we have a duty to protect the identities of our patrons."

I was floored. Absolutely stunned. "A duty to protect the identities....lady, I'm not asking for credit card numbers here. All I want to know is who sent me these flowers. A first name would be all I need!"

She repeated, "I'm sorry." And then promptly hung up. Ooook then. Note to self: once the sender is found out, suggest they use a different flower shop next time. So, my mystery continued. I wracked my brain. I could not think of a single person I know who would have a reason to send flowers and not let me know who they were from. Not one. Obviously the flower shop was a dead end, so I thought maybe the card was a clue. First I looked up the lyrics to Christina Aguilera's "What a Girl Wants", thinking there might be something in the song that would give me a hint or switch on a light. Nothing clicked. So then I started to think that "AC" was really the key. I wondered who I know with those initials. I went through all of my address books, both personal and business. Believe it or not, I know not one person with those initials. Then a co-worker asked if I like that movie. I didn't know what she was talking about. I had no idea that there was a movie named "What a Girl Wants". I knew about the Mel Gibson flick "What Women Want", but not this one. Imagine that. Movie buff me didn't know there was a movie by that title. Hmmm. So I looked up the movie. Of course, I've never seen it, and the plot didn't strike a chord, so I could not see how that would give me any inkling as to who the mystery sender was.

Finally, stumped, I gave up trying to figure it out. I had no time for an enigma this week, so I went on about my work. I did decide not to mention it to my husband, though. I thought if he had sent them, he would probably make some mention of it, or some slip of the tongue that would give it away. (Aside from Christmas or birthday gifts, he doesn't always do well with keeping a surprise. :-) Love ya, honey!) Anyway, I thought that the last thing I needed this week was to freak him out with the idea that someone else was sending me flowers, especially when I didn't know who the somone was. So I kept it to myself.

When he called that day, he asked me if anything exciting had happened. This is not unusual, as this is a normal part of our daily conversations. I told him no. Through the course of the conversation he asked me several more times if I had anything exciting to tell him. Each time I told him no, finally thinking he had asked a few too many times for this to be our ordinary banter. I asked him why he kept asking. He said no reason. I replied that he was asking as if he knew there should be something exciting going on, so what was up? He said nothing, he just wouldn't worry about it then, and refused to answer me when I asked what "it" was. I suspected he was the would-be mystery sender, but opted to wait to say anything until he gave me more to go on. He said nothing more that evening that would have given him away, and I still was unsure that he had sent the flowers.

The next day, Friday, my husband had the day off. Unfortunately I was stuck in hearings for most of the day, and wasn't able to talk to him until well after 2:00. When I was finally able to call him, he nearly immediately asked if I had any exciting news. I once again said no. In an annoyed voice he said "Well then, I guess someone owes me $40." Ah ha!!! Jackpot.

I replied, non-chalantly, "Who owes you $40?"

He replied, "No one. I guess I just have to make a call and chew someone's butt." Actually, butt wasn't the word he used, but I'm trying to keep my blog a respectable place to visit. LOL! Yeah right.

Anyway, I replied, with a slight giggle in my voice, "It doesn't happen to be someone you paid $40 to for flowers, does it?"

Of course the answer was yes, and I caught a ration of crap for not mentioning the flowers to him. I told him until I knew for sure it was him I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want him freaking out over it, and he gave me a hard time about "all the guys" that send me flowers on a regular basis. (He has told me several times (jokingly, of course) over the last two days how he's sure I didn't tell him because I thought my boyfriend sent the flowers. Right! Like I have the time, energy or patience for a boyfriend.) I told him that it was not like him to send flowers without something saying it was from him. He said he did send a card, that it should have had his usual on it. I told him it didn't, it had some weird, cryptic message. He said the flower shop must have screwed it up, wanted to know if they had gotten the flower order right, and described it to me. I told him they did. He told me about how he had chosen that particular arrangement and talked about the description of it on the website. Then it occurred to me.

"What was the name of the arrangement?" I asked.

"I dunno, something about a girl," he replied, in typical male fashion. I started to laugh. "What?"

"It wouldn't happen to be 'What a Girl Wants', would it?" I asked.

"Yeah, that sounds right." I laughed harder. In fact, I nearly fell off my chair and peed my pants all at the same time. I explained to him how I had struggled with the "clue" on the card and everything I had gone through to try to figure out what it meant. And all the while it was just an order code and the name of the arrangement. Of course, this has just increased all the jibes and teasing he has given me, but it's all in good fun.

After I finished my phone call with him, I went to tell my co-worker, who had stuggled with the mystery right along with me, what had happened. She rolled her eyes, and in between fits of laughter said, "That's an 'I want sprinkles' moment if ever I've heard one!" And, of course, she's 100% right!

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